Clerical Side of Death

Aside from the "grieving process" which I'm not really sure I know what that is anyway... there are quite a few other things that come along when a person dies.  

I got my first taste of this in August of 2011 when I stayed up in Port Angeles with my Grandpa as my Grandma was dyeing.. and died.  I got a huge drop kick into the world of dealing with arranging funerals, cremations, calling endless insurance companies, life insurance, utilities etc to let them know my grandma had died and to "take care of"  all sorts of affairs.  It was emotional, stressful, and hard but I did it.  I was happy to do it.  I was happy to be there for my Grandpa doing all the "hard" clerical thing that needed done so he didn't have to deal with them.

But this experience DID NOT prepare me in the least for dealing with all the clerical things that need taken care of when your own child dies.

Tomorrow it will be two months.  Two months since I held my baby in my arms and kissed his sweet cheeks.  The ache hasn't lessened. 

The clerical parts of dealing with death haven't seemed to lessen yet either. 

The week following Neil's passing we had to deal with answering a lot of questions we had never considered.  Where do we bury our baby? How, when, program, what funeral home, how do we transport him to Vale?  What it will cost aprox. $2000 to transport him.... ok we will do it ourselves... can we legally do it ourselves?  Need special permits.. ok well..  who will speak at the funeral, logistics, programs, food... etc... endless it seemed.

There is always  a call or letter from some place it seems with something regarding Neil passing. 

Most recently I called his insurance company b/c I couldn't' remember if I had ever called them to let them know he had died or not.  I figured better safe than sorry.

After waiting on hold (of course)  I bravely uttered the words, "my little baby, Neil Owen Penberthy died".  The very kind lady couldn't immediately find record of his death in the state database and told me that I needed to mail them verification that he had ACTUALLY DIED. 

oh, man it was all I could do to hold in the sobs.  Seriously!!  They needed proof!  They didn't believe me?!?  I promised the lady that he was not here anymore.  She again kindly told me she understood but needed proof. 

Really!? 

Dealing with these "clerical" things just seem to make hard things harder.