Want to know one of the hardest questions to answer?
How many kids do you have?
yep, I can say "one" (they can clearly see I have one b/c Liam right there). But that's not true, and I don't like to say "one" because Neil is a real person, he is my kid, and I almost feel like I am disowning or disrespecting him if I say "one". Like I have forgotten him or something.
But... If I say "two" then inevitably they say something like where is the other, or how old is he, or something like that. Then I have to explain that he died two months ago. Then there is that very awkward pause and ohh, im so sorry. Some people go on and on about a friends twice removed cousins sister in laws brother in law who lost a baby. Or something to that affect. And of course the looks of pity.
There is no good way to answer that question.
2 comments:
You're right, that's a tough one.
Sorry Anna.
Let us know what the right thing to do is so we can use that information on another person's tender feelings.
I'm sure it is hard right now. My sister still says she has one left to raise, but for the most part she says she has four children to people she doesn't know well that she doesn't want to explain everything to. I just know around family she says she has five children. I always count my niece in my total count as well. You do whatever feels right for the person you are talking to at the moment.
Post a Comment