Last night as we were going to bed I commented to Sean, "today is Tuesday, and tomorrow is Wednesday". Sean was like yep, it is... so? So, today being Wednesday marks three weeks since we held our baby for the last time. Three weeks ago today Neil died. Wednesdays are hard.
Sean lovingly told me that I shouldn't count days or weeks or think of things like that. I know what he meant, but as I told him I can't help but to. I HATE that time is passing. I HATE that today is three weeks since my baby was alive. The more time that passes only seems to put more distance between us. Distance that I wish wasn't there. As the days and hours go on it just means it has been that much longer since I held and kissed and smelled and felt my baby boy. And that hurts.
So to feel closer to my baby here is one more picture of him. He is so sweet.
2 comments:
You can go ahead and swear and say DAMN Wednesdays:) I won't tell anyone and swearing always makes me feel a little better! I love you Anna! Thanks for sharing your feelings and for your honesty. There is no right or wrong way to go through what you are going through and you are doing it with grace and courage. I admire you so much!
Anna, I love you!!! Keep feeling because when you stop feeling, that's when you stop being what makes you incredible. Maybe when you are ready you can start going to a grief counselor of some sort to help you, if you think it can help. I have a friend that is losing her mother to cancer, and though it's not the same, she is talking about the need to go to a grief counselor, and she is a licensed counselor. In the meantime, just know that you are loved in SO many different ways by SO many different people.
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