Unespected

Today as I was sitting in Neils hospital room and Dr. (lets call him Dr. R) came in.  He is Neils main Pulmanologist.  I  began updating him on Neil's respiratory function etc and Dr. R interrupted me and said, "no I am here to see how YOU are doing".  Taken back and surprised I had to double check that I had understood him correctly, but sure enough he was there for me not Neil.

It probably needs to be understood that of all Neils many doctors Dr. R is the most blunt, mater of fact, straight to the point doctor I've met.  I appreciate this about him, he doesn't beat around the bush, although often times it's hard to hear things he says. So when he pulled up a chair and wanted to SIT and talk about ME I was very surprised and touched.

In general I never know how to answer the question "how are you doing?"  I mean really what am I supposed to say???  But Dr. R and I had a nice conversation, a really nice conversation.  He wanted me to know he was thinking about ME and worrying about ME.  How this is probably the hardest thing I will ever have to go through.  He reassured me of a lot of the things I'd been thinking and feeling.  He reassured me it was OK to feel and act like a momma bear.  He encouraged me in many ways to "take care of myself".  I'm still trying to figure that one out =)

There was no epiphanies or anything of that nature, none the less it made all the difference to me today that Dr. R took time out of his busy day to talk to ME.  I am understood. 

Tender mercies

Like I said HE was the LAST person I would have ever expected to come in and care about me and have an emotional conversation like we did.